After nine months of dating, I recently created this golden triangle of what I am looking for:
I discussed with some clients which of these they would be willing to give up. We all found it impossible to choose, so I concluded that they were all essential.
(Actually, four days after I created it, I met someone online who quickly showed that he fulfilled all three components!)
Yours might be different – and it might be a square, pentagon, hexagon …. But can you come up your own essentials?
You might want to consider these three components in psychology:
If you want examples, use this figure below ….
(Mine doesn’t include practical essentials like, for me, non-smoking, age, height, lives in the same city, is single.)
More questions to ask yourself as you continue to date:
- Does this person bring out the best in me?
- Can I be myself with them?
- Do I respect them?
- Do they communicate with me in between dates in the way that I’d like them to?
- Are they emotionally responsive?*
- Do we feel at ease with each other’s sense of humour?
- Would I feel comfortable and proud introducing my date to my family?
You won’t be able to answer these until you’ve had about 6-10 dates, so don’t write off a date too early! It takes time to get used to someone new and different, and you’ll be learning a lot during that time for future dating even if it doesn’t work out.
*More about this in a future post here …..
Do comment or email me if you have other suggestions for good questions! And sign up below for alerts to new blog posts!