Let’s think outside the box and apply some creativity to your love life with these five fresh tips!
1. Express yourself through video
Some dating apps now allow videos as part of your profile. But rather than creating a video that you can’t monitor traffic to, why not make your own and post it online (e.g. on YouTube as an unlisted private video that only people with the link can access)? A video that shows you chatting with a friend or two could show your conversation skills AND that you have friends. Displaying trustworthiness, authenticity and warmth are all essential factors for getting messages on dating apps! (Make sure it’s clear which person is you in the video, and that you have permission from your friends.)
2. Use social media adventurously
People are meeting through shared interests on Twitter and Instagram. As well as connecting with like-minded people, why not try setting up a group conversation on Twitter at a set time using a hashtag like #makenewfriends or #singleschat? Or perhaps you want to find singles who are interested in something specific, such as science. Use a combination of hashtags, such as #science and #dating, and start a conversation on the nature of reality!
You could express your desire for e.g. authentic dating partners by creating your own memes on Instagram too. Why not write your own poetry or draw a picture to express your dating dilemmas, post online and start a conversation?
You could create your own Facebook event, or create a Facebook group for singles in your area to chat and arrange to meet at local events. Facebook dating has yet to arrive in the UK, but registering your interest in Facebook events now could influence future matches, as well as show you any local contacts who are interested too.
3. Socialise creatively
Dating apps such as Huggle enable you to discover and connect with the people who go to the places you go, and shows you the places you have in common.
But why not take this into your own hands? When you go out to the pub or the theatre, ask the staff if you can put up a sign suggesting anyone who wants to meet new people joins a particular table (where you are waiting with a couple of friends) e.g. to discuss the play? Or arrange this (with the venue’s agreement) on social media beforehand, posting comments on Facebook events or tagging the venue in a tweet?
Voluntary community work is another great way to meet local singles. You could help arrange or set up a festival, sports event or community lunch.
And if you want to go to a music gig or a comedy night, why not put that on your dating profile and see if anyone wants to come along? If you’re chatting with someone online, rather than just asking them if they want to meet, be specific and say “I’m thinking about going to this exhibition – maybe you’d like to join me?” Then there’s less pressure for it to be romantic experience of the year and more focus on the activity.
4. Create your own dating opportunities
Rather than waiting for events to be advertised, why not try setting up your own dating event? This could be a niche interest event, such as a tennis tournament for singles or a book discussion group. Or it could be a more general “make new friends” event in your local pub. Advertise it honestly, saying you’re a single person wanting to break away from online dating and meet like-minded others.
If you haven’t yet tried Smudged Lipstick, do! They have an imaginative range of events, from Jenga to comedy nights where you tell your dating stories.
5. See yourself differently
Don’t focus on the negative. Everyone has the experience of not getting many messages, messages rarely leading to dates, first dates hardly ever leading to second dates, and so on. Stop complaining about it and train yourself to think positively! Most of us have so many good things in our lives that we take for granted. Make your dating conversations upbeat and appreciative.
Being comfortable with who you are, feeling attractive and good about yourself and what you have to offer is essential for enjoyable and successful dates. If you can be proactive and creative with your dating, taking it into your own hands rather than being a passive consumer of dating apps, you’ll feel more positive about yourself as a dater.
Get in touch if you’d like help with being creative with your dating or would like to collaborate. For example, in 2019 I ran an award-winning event at two libraries where we used various art forms to express our dating dilemmas. I plan to arrange more events in South East London in 2020, so get on the mailing list.
[i] 2020 applications not yet open.