Here are some of my favourite novels written by authors from a range of cultures that taught me something about relationships. Research shows that reading is a great way to develop your understanding of people who are both the same as and different from you. And reading about relationships that are outside your social circles is a powerful way to gain new perspectives on their dynamics, challenges and successes.
The Rest of Our Lives by Benjamin Markovits: This mid-life odyssey explores themes of long-term marriage, ageing and career decline through a quiet, poignant, and funny road trip.
Such a Fun Age by Kiley Reid: Set in Philadelphia, US, about a young woman of mixed heritage working for a wealthy white family. Longlisted for the Booker Prize 2020. Very readable and a sophisticated treatment of racism, fetishization, power and white privilege in the context of relationships. One of my favourite novels ever.
Come and Get It, Kiley Reid’s second novel, is a brilliant but painful read on the loneliness of the first year at university and a professor and her relationships with two women.
The Water Dancer by Ta-Nehisi Coates: Set in the context of slavery and the underground in the US, there are themes of romance, family relationships, and human solidarity that I learnt a lot from.
Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: Set in Nigeria, the US and the UK, it traces the journey of a young woman and her relationships, as well as the immigrant experience and themes of culture clash and how to express your identity and politics. It won the 2013 U.S. National Book Critics Circle Award. All her novels are wonderfully written.
Open Water by Caleb Azumah Nelson: Set in South East London, this debut novel of 2021 is a beautifully written romance between two young people, subtly evoking the challenges of being a young Black man in London.
Ordinary People by Diana Evans: Set in South East London, this novel traces the marriages of two couples and the challenges of growing apart.
Concrete Rose by Angie Thomas: The prequel to the incredible novel and film, The Hate U Give, this is just as compelling, and great on young adult interethnic relationships and sex, politics, expressing your identity and gang life in the US.
Real Life by Brandon Taylor: A beautifully written and poignant novel about graduate life in the US, LGBT relationships, repression, inequality, abuse and grief. Shortlisted for the Booker Prize 2020. One of my favourite novels ever.
The Late Americans by Brandon Taylor: Another brilliant novel by Taylor about queer relationships, sex, politics and self-discovery set on a US college campus in the Midwest.
An American Marriage by Tayari Jones: The story of a relationship under pressure from one partner being in prison from a racial injustice in the US.
Queenie by Candice-Carty Williams: Hilarious and poignant debut novel from South East London author on the brutal realities of dating as a Black woman. Winner of the British Book Awards Book of the Year 2020.
Love after Love by Ingrid Persaud: A novel about a widow, her son and her gay lodger set in Trinidad and the US. Really insightful on all three characters’ perspectives and their relationships over time.
Girl, Woman, Other by Bernadine Evaristo: A fabulous set of intertwined portraits of a wide range of women in this Booker Prize 2019 winner.
The Translator by Leila Aboulela: Published in 1991, a beautiful story of a Sudanese immigrant woman who moves to Scotland and her new relationship. One of my favourite novels ever.
Lyrics Alley by Leila Aboulela: Set in Sudan and Egypt, a story about love, disability, culture and class clashes, polygamy and family.
Disobedience by Naomi Alderman: A rabbi’s bisexual daughter returns from New York to her Orthodox Jewish community in Hendon, London. An insightful and witty novel on the search for love, tolerance and faith.
The Chosen and The Promise by Chaim Potok: A compelling and intensely personal two-part novel series that explores the themes of friendship, identity, and faith, primarily within the context of Orthodox Judaism, following the lives of two young men as they navigate their religious traditions and personal growth.
Waiting to Exhale by Terri McMillan: The first of four brilliant and hilarious novels, about four Black women with inadequate men and their friendship. Also a 1995 film, which I’ve just watched: it’s still just as relevant and the women still look super stylish! How Stella Got Her Groove Back is another of hers.
The One Who Wrote Destiny by Nikesh Shukla: An emotional novel about the generations of a a Gujarati family in Bradford with connections to Kenya. Themes include racism, parental obligation and cancer.
The Thing Around Your Neck by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: A fabulous, thought-provoking collection of short stories about the experience of being Nigerian in America. Plenty of relationship themes, including loneliness, betrayal and prejudice.
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin: A novel about friendship, love and video games.
One for Sorrow, Two for Joy by Marie-Claire Amuah: A novel about intergenerational trauma.
The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang: A novel about an autistic woman who hires an escort to help her to explore intimacy.
Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng: A novel about a mixed-race Chinese-American family, belonging, grief, how parents’ fears and trauma can influence children.
You Exist Too Much by Zaina Arafat: A Palestinian-American queer woman’s journey towards self-knowledge and her relationships.
Home Fire by Kamila Shamsie: This novel reimagines Sophocles’s play Antigone unfolding among British Muslims.
Home by Manju Kapur: This novel is about family life across three generations of Delhi shopkeepers.
The Immigrant by Manju Kapur: This novel explores cultural disorientation and displacement in an arranged marriage.
The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan: Four Chinese women and their mothers explore their past and learn to understand the complex relationship they share with each other.
Pachinko by Min Jin Lee: Through eight decades and four generations, Pachinko is an epic tale of family, identity, love, death and survival following a Korean family who moves to Japan.
Inheritance by Balli Kaur Jaswal: The story of one family’s struggles with love, loss, belonging, modernity and deviance in a developing Singapore.
The Leavers by Lisa Ko: Set in New York and China, this is the story of a boy and his mother and how they both learn to live with separation.
River East, River West by Aube Rey Lescure: A story about an American immigrant to China and her daughter brought up in Shanghai, this is a deeply moving exploration of race, identity and family, of capitalism’s false promise and private dreams.
Passing by Nella Larson: Written in the 1920s, this is a story of two women who can “pass” as White navigating race and identity in a segregated society.
Non-fiction resources for ethnic minority relationships
Anthony, T. (2021). Black girl in love (with herself). Hay House UK.
Caraballo, J.-E. (2024). Self-care for Black men. Adams Media.
Cooper, Y., & Holmes, E. (Eds.). (2022). Black couples therapy: Clinical theory and practice. Cambridge University Press.
Curington, C. V., Lundquist, J. H., & Lin, K. H. (2021). The dating divide: Race and desire in the era of online romance. University of California Press.
Diallo, M. (2024). Navigating your (love) life while queer and Black: A user guide to interracial relationships. Ryefield Books.
Fredericks, K., & Fredericks, M. (2022). Marriage Be Hard: 12 Conversations to Keep You Laughing, Loving, and Learning with Your Partner. Convergent.
Rose, T. (2003). Longing to tell: Black women talk about sexuality and intimacy. Picador.
Smith, T., & Court, A. (2022). Mixed up: Confessions of an interracial couple. Headline Publishing.
Williams, A. (2024). Not my type: Automating sexual racism in online dating. Stanford University Press.
Woozeer, L. (2022). Not quite white. Simon & Schuster UK.
I recommend using local bookshops to buy your books where possible, or Hive where you choose a local bookshop when you pay, and Hive make a donation to them.
Happy reading!
Reading on LGBTQIA+ themes here.
Reading by female authors here.