emotional intelligence empathy psychology relationships social skills

The S Word: Saying sorry to your date

Sooner or later you’re going to mess up. It might happen on the second date, or the tenth date. (If it happens on the first date, that’ll probably be it.) How can you minimise the effect and move forward in your dating? You’ll probably have memories of messing up in previous relationships. Did you have […]

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Why Tinder is so ‘evilly satisfying’

Why Tinder is so ‘evilly satisfying’ Jeanette Purvis, University of Hawaii This article was originally published in The Conversation. It has been reprinted with permission under the Creative Commons licence. Read the original article. In America, 60 percent of digital media consumption now occurs on mobile or tablet devices instead of desktop computers. As people […]

alternative date Rachel New Brazilian dancers at Horniman museum festival 2017
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Alternative Dates

Want to have a date that’s a bit unconventional? Try one of these activities and you could get to see how your date interacts with others, or how they cope with competition, making mistakes, and possibly losing. Or you might want to see how they can respond spontaneously to new information or experiences. Here are […]

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Anxious about Dating?

Do you feel very nervous before dates? Do you suffer from shyness in social situations generally? Here are some tips to help you relax and enjoy your dates: Practise talking to strangers about simple things like asking for directions, comparing products when you’re both staring at the shelf in the supermarket, or asking for a […]

grieving the end of a relationship Rachel New
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Am I ready for a relationship?

Let’s be honest, there are very few people who are 100% ready for a permanent relationship all of the time. We’re only human and no matter how perfect our partner, there will usually be a little voice in the back of our minds asking “Is there someone better for me?” or “What would it be […]

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Diversity in your dating

Online dating can broaden our horizons At last – a study that shows that we are more likely to date people from different ethnic groups when we’re online dating, compared with other more traditional dating methods! Pre-internet, partners were similar to us In the past, we were likely to pick a partner similar to us […]

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Am I emotionally available?

Emotional availability is about the ability to share an emotional connection. The model illustrated by the figure below was created by Rachel’s work with clients to capture what characterized successful connections made on dates and in role play. The six elements used are responsiveness, empathy, intimacy, openness, sensitivity, and articulation. (Another model, this one supported […]

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What have I learnt about dating in 2016?

In the last year, since becoming single after 20 years of marriage, I’ve had great fun dating 22 guys. 11 of them were just single dates. The others led to more dates, some lasting several months. I also set up my dating coaching business, running workshops and one to one sessions. Here are some of […]

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When should I sleep with my date?

A lot of American dating coaches say if a woman sleeps with a guy too early she’s giving him the message that he doesn’t have to treat her like they’re in a proper relationship. They say once you’ve made it easy for him to sleep with you, he won’t need to put in any effort […]

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Aromatic Dates

How important is it to smell good on a date? You’re probably thinking “Duh! Very important!” but of the nineteen men I’ve dated in the last year, eight didn’t smell good, and that’s an immediate turn off. It’s a sensitive subject, but I have to address it head on. You don’t want this to be […]