Photo by Nina Photography.
What Rachel’s neurodivergent clients say about her coaching:
“Rachel is meticulous in her approach. She covers every facet of dating and helps you plan effectively for your forthcoming date one step at a time. It is great to have someone who can help you understand the nuances of dating and give you practical advice to achieve your goals. I am now living with my girlfriend.” (Mark, 31, has autism)
“Rachel has been very helpful to me in assessing the way I communicate and what I might change to get results that are more aligned to my goals. I am autistic and have ADHD so I recognise that I have blind spots in this area, and that there’s room for improvement. Rachel offers me different and sometimes challenging perspectives, and gives more direct advice and suggestions for changes than I’ve previously had from therapists and other people I’ve sought out for support.” (Michelle, 31, has ADHD and autism)
“Rachel is wise, insightful, non-judgemental and all round lovely human being! She’s helped me better understand myself and my relationships, and gently guiding me through my challenges and insecurities. I am now in a relationship. I wholeheartedly recommend!” (Steve, 48, has ADHD)
“Rachel is the most congruent coach I could have ever met. She has shown me a genuine interest in helping me, mixed with unconditional positive regard for myself as a person. Rachel is able to use empowering words to motivate you in your goals as well as comforting words to help you in your vulnerabilities. I am a much more confident person with her coaching; Rachel has also helped me overcome my body dysmorphia issues.” (Jordan, 36, has autism)
“For the last sixteen months, Rachel has given me fantastic support for dating with my ASD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, and social anxiety to help me with challenges like changing unhelpful beliefs, seeing things from different perspectives, celebrating who I am and learning to like myself, being kinder to myself, managing my emotions, recovering after a date that didn’t work out, overwhelm with dating apps and messaging, and how to communicate on a date and when being sexually intimate.” (Nathan, 30)
“I feel like I can talk to Rachel about anything. She cares while remaining objective and realistic. Since I started my sessions with her my social skills and confidence have improved a lot. Other people have mentioned the improvements in my conversation skills and mood. I have also created a dating profile and am talking to people on the app after not using them for two years.” (Ollie, 32, has autism)
“Our sessions have really helped me gain more insight on myself, given me grounding advice and context in the navigation of what is a very difficult dating environment. This has been done so in a very sensitive and supportive manner, understanding how emotional the topic can be. I feel like I’ve made some big breakthroughs in recent weeks which are really exciting.” (Davey, 33, has autism)
“I can highly recommend Rachel for couples coaching! She is professional and considerate with her clients.” (Tom, 31, AuDHD)
Rachel provides neurodiversity-informed dating coaching
Rachel has an evidence-based approach to providing you with realistic, personalised coaching and helping you improve your dating experiences and relationships.
Rachel has a background in research in social psychology at the University of Oxford, is a qualified and experienced teacher of psychology, and has training in neurodivergent-oriented mindfulness, life coaching, neurodivergent-informed and trauma-informed coaching and the neurobiology of relationships. She is informed by relationship science and social psychology.
Rachel welcomes the neurodivergent including those on the autistic spectrum and with ADHD, people from the LGBTQ+ community, all ethnic and cultural backgrounds, and those with disabilities.
Popular topics include managing dating apps and messaging without overwhelm, coping with uncertainty and ambiguity, working out if someone is attracted to you and reading your date’s behaviour, the unwritten “rules” and etiquette of dating, expressing interest in someone, understanding and communicating your needs, and much more.
Read more reviews of Rachel’s coaching.
Learn more about Rachel’s one-to-one coaching.
Join the waitlist for one-to one coaching.
Visit Rachel’s events page.
Sign up to the mailing list.
Buy Rachel’s dating workbook
Available here – the new expanded 2nd edition for 2026 now available with additional neurodiversity, LGBTQ, and minority informed support.
Pair it with Rachel’s dating diary to help you reflect on your dates in a systematic, mindful way.
Photo by Nina Photography.
Resources for neurodivergent relationships
How to write a Hinge profile while celebrating your neurodivergence
Regulating your emotions for the neurodivergent
Report Rachel has contributed to: Navigating Dating Differently: Neurodivergent Experiences on Dating Apps
The National Autistic Society: Friendship and autistic adults
Genius Within: UK support for individuals and organisations
Support for Neurodivergent Relationships
Neurodivergent friendships Part 1
Neurodivergent friendships Part 2
What it’s like being part of a neurodivergent group
Daisy Connections (speed friending)
The London Neurodivergent Friendship Group
New assessment for autism valid for women and non-binary people
What it’s like dating as an autistic person
Tips for dating someone on the autistic spectrum
Vice article: The Secret to Dating as a Neurodivergent Person
HuffPost UK Life on rejection sensitivity dysphoria, limerence and masking: ‘Leave The Mask At Home’: The Neurodivergent Dating Rule I Wish I Knew Sooner
Books on sex, relationships, dating and neurodivergence
Biel, J., & Harper, F. G. (2021). The autism relationships handbook: How to thrive in friendships, dating, and love. Microcosm Publishing.
DeBarra, C. J. (2023). NeuroQueer: A neurodivergent guide to love, sex, and everything in between. Trigger Publishing.
Goodall, E. (2016). The autism spectrum guide to sexuality and relationships: Understand yourself and make choices that are right for you. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Laugeson, E. A. (2013). The Science of Making Friends: Helping Socially Challenged Teens and Young Adults. Wiley.
Senne, B., & Ackrill, S. (2025). The ND Lovers Club: How Neurodivergent Women Lust, Like, and Love. Wired Differently Limited.
Stevenson, J., & Attwood, A. (2019). Neurodiverse Relationships: Autistic and Neurotypical Partners Share Their Experiences. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
For Neurodivergent Young Adults
Attwood, S. (2008). Making sense of sex: A forthright guide to puberty, sex and relationships for people with Asperger’s syndrome. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Ekins, E. (2021). Queerly autistic: The ultimate guide for LGBTQIA+ teens on the spectrum. Jessica Kingsley Publishers
For Practitioners and Therapists
Neves, S. (2023). Sexual diversity: Being human through understanding and acceptance. Routledge.
Rosqvist, H. B., Day, A., & Krazinski, M. (Eds.). (2024). Exploring autistic sexualities, relationality, and genders: Living under a double rainbow. Routledge.
Key Evidence-Based Concepts
When reading these texts, you will often see the following framework used to explain neurodivergent sexual experiences:
| Concept | Impact on Sexuality |
| Sensory Processing | Hypersensitivity or hyposensitivity to touch, smell, taste, sounds or light during sex. |
| Executive Function | Challenges with “initiating” sex or remembering birth control/protection. |
| Hyperfocus or lack of focus | The ability to experience deep, “flow-state” intimacy or special interests in kink; or challenges in maintaining focus and wanting sex to be over quickly |
| Double Empathy | The theory (Milton, 2012) that communication breakdowns are a two-way street. It posits that neurotypical people often struggle to empathize with autistic people just as much as autistics struggle to empathize with them. In sex, this means “misread cues” are a shared responsibility, not a solo “social deficit.” |
| Difference, Not Deficit | The principle that neurodivergent traits (like needing specific routines or avoiding eye contact) are natural variations of the human brain rather than “broken” versions of a standard. In intimacy, this shifts the goal from “acting normal” to “finding what works for both partners.” |
Milton D. (2012). On the ontological status of autism: The ‘double empathy problem’. Disability & Society, 27, 883–887.