Resources & links

Rachel’s articles from other sites

21st century dating

Organic Dating

Divorce Survival Guide: the first few weeks

Dating for Divorcees

What’s it like dating after a divorce?

Is falling in love inevitable? The Dating Goddess Dilemma

Dating apps could do more to combat racism

Articles Rachel has contributed to

Dating for the over sixties

How to improve photographs of yourself

Dating short men

Articles on dating and relationships

Pandemic dating

Coronavirus: Why dating feels so different now

Are single people about to enter ‘Coving Season’?

How the pandemic is affecting dating attitudes: Survey

Protecting your relationship during the pandemic

Cuffing Season 2020 Looks Different Than in Years Past—Here’s What To Expect

The Gay UK: Tips for body language on video dates


2020 review of lesbian dating apps

Dating as a trans person

How dating changed the LGBT community

The bisexual dating dilemma

Being gay on Tinder

LGBT experiences of dating in the US

Black Lives Matter and ethnicity issues

Cosmopolitan: The power of queer Black love

Bumble: My Love is Black Love Podcast

Cosmopolitan: interracial couples respond to the Black Lives Matter movement

Rewire: What Does Racial Justice Look Like in an Interracial Relationship?

Cosmopolitan: Queer Black Stories

The Conversation: Ethnic filters and racism on Grindr

Huffington Post and ethnic filters

Bustle: What can we do about fetishization?

Cosmopolitan: How not to be racist when dating

The Stylist: Ethnic filters protect Black women

Does Britain still have an issue with interracial relationships?

Best Black dating sites 2020

The body is not an apology


It’s as simple as tea


Can and should drugs be used to improve our love lives?

How to bio hack your brain to avoid getting emotionally involved

Dating for people on the autistic spectrum

As an autistic person, Netflix’s Love on the Spectrum is painful to watch

Tips for dating someone on the autistic spectrum

What it’s like dating as an autistic person

Dating and the menopause

Sex and the menopause with Samantha Evans & Dr Louise Newson

Sexual pleasure during the menopause

The Guardian: The menopause is ruining my sex life

Literary and philosophical perspectives on love

Kahlil Gibran on Intimacy and Independence

Alain Badiou on love

Joseph Campbell on perfectionism

Dating with a disability

Sex and disability

Disability and dating: ‘Why do people think I’m my boyfriend’s carer?’

Dating apps for disabled daters

The body is not an apology by Sonya Renee Taylor


Tinder statistics in 2020

UK dating statistics for 2020

How (not to) approach women

Latest review of dating apps July 2020

Understanding dating subscriptions

Regulatory body for dating sites and apps

US stats from the Pew Center 2020

Dating sites for disabled people

How to pick an argument

Story: Cat Person

All the latest dating terms

eharmony banned from claiming its algorithm is “scientifically proven”

How the internet has changed dating: The Economist

Modern Love: The Economist

Toffee Dating: why I won’t be using the new ‘private school only’ app

Is being described as “chilled” by your date a good thing?

The effect of self-esteem on how attractive we think others find us and how successful we think we will be online dating

What men and women swipe right on

When do women value personality over looks?

What do 21st century arranged marriages and online dating have in common?

Fifteen tips to make a relationship work

Bad teeth are the number one put-off

The dubious science of genetics based dating

Asexual dating

Legal implications of not revealing all on dating sites

All that is wrong with Bumble

Tribal dating – should we only date people who agree with us?

Your credit rating is more important than being hot

One third of us continue using dating apps while in a relationship

Algorithms are useless – just get out there and date!

Signs you might be dating a psychopath

Psychological factors in becoming a victim of a dating scam

Your dating profile can be traced back to your workplace

Avoiding the friend zone

Getting out of the friend zone

How to Pick Your Life Partner – Part 1

How to Pick Your Life Partner – Part 2

Pitfalls of online dating

Cracked phones are a turn-off and other random findings

Why Tinder is so ‘evilly satisfying’

Couples are similar to each other

Very detailed and useful review of the four major dating sites

Hugging etiquette

How to break up with your online dating site

Customer satisfaction with online dating sites

Emotional availability

The Huffington Post: 15 excellent dating tips

First date bingo

Why you will marry the wrong person

Science Says Lasting Relationships Come Down To 2 Basic Traits

10 easy ways to piss off your girlfriend

Stella Gray in The Guardian: her online search for love

36 questions that can make you fall in love with anyone

The Problem with Modern Romance Is Too Much Choice

When Dating Algorithms Can Watch You Blush: mirroring the other person’s sentence structure

OK Cupid’s Big Data set

Empirical study: The longer you look at a face, the more attractive it becomes

Love by design: when science meets sex, lust, attraction and attachment

Places to go on dates: the most beautiful and tranquil places in London

Online braggers don’t get dates

Rebound relationships

Matthew Hussey on how to reply to a “hey” text from a guy

Don’t say sorry in your messages …. You’ll be 56% less likely to get someone’s number!

Female intelligence is a turnoff for low self-esteem men

Secrets of the six month dating rule revealed by Match

Empirical study: Deal-breakers before meeting for a date (summary of study in Science here)

Survey: Why do people lie on online dating sites?

Empirical study: attractiveness and gender role incongruency are the best predictors of online attraction

Empirical study: Virtual dates are better than online chat

Survey: Motivation for using Tinder

Linguistic study of online messages shows some words are better than others

Review paper: The advantages of online dating

Review paper: Time spent online is not rewarded by face to face experience

Four things that kill relationships

How to be more attractive online

What should you look for in a long term partner?


The Heartfix: An Online Dating Diary by Stella Grey – Fantastic account of 693 days of dating from The Guardian columnist – a MUST READ!

The Chemistry between us by Larry Young – the neuroscience of attraction

He’s just not that into you by Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo – international bestseller on why he doesn’t call you

How to choose a partner by Susan Quilliam – “Drawing upon rich cultural material, psychology and her background in relationship therapy, Susan presents partner choice as a self-development journey, driving us to learn more about ourselves, about other people, about life and the way we want to live.” Buy here.

Labor of Love by Moira Weigel – History of dating – The Guardian review here.

The Curious History of Dating by Nichi Hodgson – very interesting on dating through time. Needs a good copy-editor, though! Buy here.

Flirt Coach by Peta Heskell – buy here.

Date-Onomics by John Birger – about the US stats on how many young datable men are out there – see here.

Sex in the Digital Age (2018) edited by Paul G Nixon & Isabel K. Düsterhöft – see here.

The All-or-Nothing Marriage by Eli Finkel – buy here.

The Seven Principles for making marriage work by John Gottman – buy here.

Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by John and Julie Gottman


Meditation to relax you before or after a date

Dating Dilemmas: Take part in polls

What should you do if your date kisses too fast?

 Should you tell a first date if they have bad breath?

I want to find out what the deal-breakers after meeting a date are for you …. It can often be things you had never thought of before, unique to one person, like an annoying habit of suddenly breaking into in a very bad Yorkshire accent or repeating themselves over and over …. (I wonder what mine are?!)

Tell me (anonymously) what they were by clicking on the link below! Really quick survey with just two questions!